This is an ongoing blog post series to explore identity, family history and cultural narratives. It is what initially sparkles my interests of storytelling, filmmaking and art. I hope to continue following this curiosity to uncover the past, present and future and walk through the mist of whichever path that will lead me further.
“...Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. ”
“When you are older, you will one day go to America for college,” my mom would always reassure me before I was even in middle school. I have known since a young age that I have family outside of China. I have always known that they moved from Taiwan to California, but I knew very little about our history. This somehow sparked my desire to see what is on the other side of the world. Subconsciously, geograpraphy and English were my favorite subjects; my middle school geography teacher once said, “You are bound to go far away from where you start,” -- and he would be right.
The Beginning of Everything
Me in the middle, my childhood friends in the neighborhood
The city of Ganzhou has always been my connotation of memories. My heart has always belonged to the idyllic, historic city, even though I moved to Guangzhou after I was born here and a few years of my early childhood. Yet, I have never thought about making a documentary series about Ganzhou, until I visited my aunt Judy in San Francisco.
I remember telling my aunt Judy about the time I spent with my grandpa in Ganzhou - her uncle that she has never met. She was instantly hooked by the stories of him. “I hope I can know more about my father and his long-lost family in China,” she whispered. At that particular moment, it dawned on me that family will always be family; time and distance could not disconnect our bond.
My great grandfather Li-Quan Tsai
Although creating a film by myself would not be easy work, I used it as a gateway to explore our family history and learn about our past. I hankered to reconnect the family after the long separation. “It is a lifetime adventure,” written by aunt Judy in her email from California. So, when I visited Ganzhou in 2015 for Lunar New Year, I relayed my intention to my grandpa. Quite surprisingly, this seemingly restrained man agreed to “star” in my film without hesitation. He was willing to reconnect with the past, with all the sorrows that came with historical upheavals and the bygone splendor of this antique family house that he had spent his lifetime in.
Following my grandpa through the old street of Ganzhou, 2015
My grandpa showed me around every corner of his centurial courtyard - even the deserted attic - as we filmed. He narrated old stories hidden behind the faded photographs, and I was slowly transcending beyond being just a photographer - I was becoming an empathetic listener. As though I was experiencing his life. I smiled as I heard childhood anecdotes about grandpa and his long-separated brother (aunt Judy’s father, who left mainland China around 1949 for Taiwan and then moved to Hawaii afterwards). I grew intrigued, as he told the story behind my great-grandpa’s success as a local business owner. I grieved when I learned how Judy’s father was forever separated from the family at the age of 18. I became indignant about the mistreatment my grandpa endured during the Cultural Revolution. The courtyard of old house, like a museum, held so much happiness and sorrow, reunion and separation - they have flesh and blood.
Grandpa and his city, 2015
Chinatown, San Francisco 2017
A few days later, almost wrapping up filming, I suddenly realized that this ancient city also carried the memories of my family. With the thought of chronicling the family stories with this land, I stretched my lens to the city. Following my grandpa’s narration, I retraced the routes where my family had gone. As if I had gone back to the days, I could picture my grandpa and his brother frolicking on Donmenjin Street. Walking on the 800-year-old floating bridge, I filmed the rafts on the Zhanggan River, imagining my ancestors fighting hard for their life on this land. Every stop I filmed, I was drawn closer to the family history and the blessing to help the other half of my family connect with their roots.
To be continue….
Next Chapter: Metropolitan Immigrants